Today I studied at McDonald's with Yanta again. Well, I did math and he did homework... Which was also math. I swear he's damn frustrated with me, but I really don't understand trigo! I'm getting it more now but still it's not good enough. I'm not gonna have a Yanta with me in the O's! I WISH. (wouldn't that be nice? getting — almost — full marks for a test/exam, wow.) I've to stop being all emotional about my frustrations over trigo. It's not gonna be of any help! I'm sure a lot of people are frustrated with it too but it's so hard to see the big picture when you have geniuses near you. You constantly think, why is it that they can do it, but you can't? And the answer is really painful. For me, it's because I'm not hardworking or self disciplined enough. Although, you will always find smarties — like Jun Kang, or Yanta, for examples — who don't really bother to study. I admire this breed of “genius" because, let's face it, who doesn't want to be effortlessly smart? Or effortlessly anything positive, really.

Imagine: your friend studied hard for the whole of the June holidays. And another, who only studied for the prelims the days before. Friend B gets better marks than friend A. Wouldn't you be envious and in awe of friend B?

I don't mean that Yanta doesn't study (I don't know about Jun Kang because I don't know him that well), he does, but he doesn't study that hard. Yet, he gets 7th in level. (and look at me, I'm the 77th. I get a “you tried” star.)

However, the people I admire and respect the most are those who work hard and achieve their aims, like Rochele or Choon Kong. Choon Kong is the best example. (then again, studying is his hobby, so...) I heard he improved a whole darn lot the past year(s). He's super hardworking too, I think. I really admire him because he even improved to the extent that he got 40/50 for his CA1 Comprehension paper. I'm still in shock because I never even thought that it was possible to get 33 before, which was what I got, and a personal best, which made me very happy. Knowing that someone actually got 40, however, made me think, hey, I could do that too, can't I? It isn't impossible! 40 isn't that far from 33. It's nice to have people like Rochele and Choon Kong around to remind us that hard work really does pay off.

Although I do laud them for their achievements, I don't think it's for me. I don't believe in sacrificing every other thing in my life for academics. (I also don't believe in memorising. I hate that word.)

Still, I don't think I could ever be like that. I'm so overwhelmed by the O levels. There's an average of about 20 chapters per subject. And I'm taking 5 — 6 if you count SS and History elective as separate subjects — studyable subjects. Are you kidding me?? I've been so overwhelmed by the big picture that I can't focus on the details. I don't feel prepared at all. I know it's too early to feel prepared and the teachers are supposed to help us, but I don't feel like it's enough!! I'm not really what's with this weird unsure feeling. I don't like it.
Amaths has become my life recently. I don't even study anything else, resulting in a drop of my okayish bio and SS/History results. Been making a conscious effort to keep up with and review my chemistry lessons, though. I'm quite worried for my emaths as well but it's overshadowed by its overwhelming sibling, amath. My worries for my grades overwhelm me sometimes. It's quite scary since I think I'm doing okay, my teachers think I'm doing okay, my mum thinks I'm doing okay, but I'm worried, so worried. Worries happen because you think, but you don't know.

To tell the truth, I actually felt not as worried as I had been before for my amath, because I was doing okay (again...). Then I reviewed trigo today. Trigo is the worst thing ever. I don't understand the concepts, there are too many things to trigo. It must be too deep a subject for the superficial mind (a.k.a. my shallow brain) to understand. Practising doesn't really help either. And there are so many questions on it in the amath O level papers! Or maybe it's just my fears getting the better of me, I don't know. I'm not too optimistic that I'll get better at this. Any good feelings I get by getting a question right is negated by getting a question wrong.

However, as the adage goes, opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Doing well in O levels will open many doors for me, no matter which path I choose. I'll need it for uni if I go to poly, and to get into the JC of my choice if I chose that path. I guess, in the end, there's no use second-guessing myself and having nothing done, it's better to trudge on, even if I get things wrong. At the very least I would've done something, corrected it and be sure to not make the same mistake. I must remind myself of this every time I feel down about my atrocious math ability and dunderhead-ness.

Labels: frustration, math, olevels

Today I studied at McDonald's with Yanta again. Well, I did math and he did homework... Which was also math. I swear he's damn frustrated with me, but I really don't understand trigo! I'm getting it more now but still it's not good enough. I'm not gonna have a Yanta with me in the O's! I WISH. (wouldn't that be nice? getting — almost — full marks for a test/exam, wow.) I've to stop being all emotional about my frustrations over trigo. It's not gonna be of any help! I'm sure a lot of people are frustrated with it too but it's so hard to see the big picture when you have geniuses near you. You constantly think, why is it that they can do it, but you can't? And the answer is really painful. For me, it's because I'm not hardworking or self disciplined enough. Although, you will always find smarties — like Jun Kang, or Yanta, for examples — who don't really bother to study. I admire this breed of “genius" because, let's face it, who doesn't want to be effortlessly smart? Or effortlessly anything positive, really.

Imagine: your friend studied hard for the whole of the June holidays. And another, who only studied for the prelims the days before. Friend B gets better marks than friend A. Wouldn't you be envious and in awe of friend B?

I don't mean that Yanta doesn't study (I don't know about Jun Kang because I don't know him that well), he does, but he doesn't study that hard. Yet, he gets 7th in level. (and look at me, I'm the 77th. I get a “you tried” star.)

However, the people I admire and respect the most are those who work hard and achieve their aims, like Rochele or Choon Kong. Choon Kong is the best example. (then again, studying is his hobby, so...) I heard he improved a whole darn lot the past year(s). He's super hardworking too, I think. I really admire him because he even improved to the extent that he got 40/50 for his CA1 Comprehension paper. I'm still in shock because I never even thought that it was possible to get 33 before, which was what I got, and a personal best, which made me very happy. Knowing that someone actually got 40, however, made me think, hey, I could do that too, can't I? It isn't impossible! 40 isn't that far from 33. It's nice to have people like Rochele and Choon Kong around to remind us that hard work really does pay off.

Although I do laud them for their achievements, I don't think it's for me. I don't believe in sacrificing every other thing in my life for academics. (I also don't believe in memorising. I hate that word.)

Still, I don't think I could ever be like that. I'm so overwhelmed by the O levels. There's an average of about 20 chapters per subject. And I'm taking 5 — 6 if you count SS and History elective as separate subjects — studyable subjects. Are you kidding me?? I've been so overwhelmed by the big picture that I can't focus on the details. I don't feel prepared at all. I know it's too early to feel prepared and the teachers are supposed to help us, but I don't feel like it's enough!! I'm not really what's with this weird unsure feeling. I don't like it.
Amaths has become my life recently. I don't even study anything else, resulting in a drop of my okayish bio and SS/History results. Been making a conscious effort to keep up with and review my chemistry lessons, though. I'm quite worried for my emaths as well but it's overshadowed by its overwhelming sibling, amath. My worries for my grades overwhelm me sometimes. It's quite scary since I think I'm doing okay, my teachers think I'm doing okay, my mum thinks I'm doing okay, but I'm worried, so worried. Worries happen because you think, but you don't know.

To tell the truth, I actually felt not as worried as I had been before for my amath, because I was doing okay (again...). Then I reviewed trigo today. Trigo is the worst thing ever. I don't understand the concepts, there are too many things to trigo. It must be too deep a subject for the superficial mind (a.k.a. my shallow brain) to understand. Practising doesn't really help either. And there are so many questions on it in the amath O level papers! Or maybe it's just my fears getting the better of me, I don't know. I'm not too optimistic that I'll get better at this. Any good feelings I get by getting a question right is negated by getting a question wrong.

However, as the adage goes, opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Doing well in O levels will open many doors for me, no matter which path I choose. I'll need it for uni if I go to poly, and to get into the JC of my choice if I chose that path. I guess, in the end, there's no use second-guessing myself and having nothing done, it's better to trudge on, even if I get things wrong. At the very least I would've done something, corrected it and be sure to not make the same mistake. I must remind myself of this every time I feel down about my atrocious math ability and dunderhead-ness.

Labels: frustration, math, olevels